by JERI XIE
Yes, you heard it right. Believe it or not, everyone is a leader. You are the leader of your own life and it is a matter of choice.
You wake up one morning and realize there is no toothpaste left. You check with your wife and she says: “Sorry honey, no more left!” What will you do? Well, you may probably get angry and say: “Why didn’t you stock it up?” and there you go, that’s how couples fight over the smallest things. Or probably you will just move on, rinse your mouth and get to work ignoring how your mouth may stink for the day. You probably will also think that your wife will get it replenished later today and there is no worry for it tomorrow. What would happen if she didn’t?
David, an experienced HR executive has always been having problems with punctuality at work. He would need to fetch his kids to the childcare, send his wife to work and beat the morning traffic. These are all the reasons he gives when being questioned by anyone, including his own manager who highlighted this issue to him. He is a diligent and resourceful staff but he can never have his promotion opportunity unless he deals with his punctuality issues. The company expects its HR team to set a good example. As the years go by, and as family burdens get heavier, David realized he needs a career advancement and better pay. A colleague who entered the organization later than himself got promoted instead of him. He started feeling resentful and often complained to others: “I worked so hard all these years but I never had that chance!” What should he do now? He is probably thinking of a job change.
Let’s face it. No one likes to feel lousy about themselves. So people will have that tendency to blame others or circumstances for their problems. It is easier to place your expectations on others or assume that it is part of your personality that you cannot change. Is that really true?
Being a leader in your own life involves taking back the responsibility. I am the leader of my own life means,
– I know who I am
– I know what my life purpose is
– I know what my values are
– I get honest with myself
– I know I can change my behavior – if I want to.
– I find ways to get out of tough situations
When things doesn’t work in your favour and before you are tempted to throw the ball unto someone else’s court, ask yourself some of these questions:
– What can I do differently?
– What can I learn about myself?
– How can I regain the control of my life?
– Is this aligned with what I really want?
Remember, you are in charge. You weren’t just handed this life that you’re living today – you created it. And if you want, you can make changes, regardless big or small. Now, ask yourself this: “Are you the leader of your own life?”
It’s never too late to recognize that you are still far from leading your own life and come to realized you need to learn how. Give yourself a good pat on your shoulder because getting honest with yourself is your first step. It’s time to speak to a coach.
Jeri Xie (https://sg.linkedin.com/in/jerixie)