by ARMELLE STOLTZ
Let Go, Flow, achieve Big
Some time ago, I had an amazing coaching session which would change my coaching approach forever. Before going to the coaching session, I spent time strategizing my session, preparing my documents, my mind, my heart. Keeping focused on the agenda of my client, deep listening, asking powerful questions, looking for results, popcorn moments, steps further, action plan. Once we with my client have achieved these accountabilities (my accountabilities?), then I started to relax…and you know what happened? Another journey began and became deeper. The coachee relaxed also, and started to share some private experience she had in another area. The parallel, congruities and incongruities with the coaching agenda were very much obvious and helpful, and it was so powerful to look at the coaching agenda with these fresh new glasses! Then we learned from metaphors, values, broader perspective. And the outcome of the session became smoothly and indisputably: Bigger.
I relaxed. I let go. What does it mean? I stopped being focused on outcomes…the result is: we got more outcomes. I gave space, time to my coachee. Then she opened more. The atmosphere was magic. It was only about unleashing, not referring to tangible references, no time constraints even. We were on another planet, somewhere, out of earth, completely present, flowing, dancing, always aligned with the agenda still, making huge discoveries which will be reminded forever, as they were completely out of the original strict context box. Unleashing is true power. Unleashing gives full presence, trust, confidence, open doors and possibilities. Recently a client told me: “I have no time anymore to check fully the work I delegate. I realize the more I let go, the more confidence I gain” Letting go is about trusting… – the self : What you know is there and will come out. No worries. You will not die. – others. Others have a lot to share with you. Trusting they can add value, too.…So you can fly. It is also about not being afraid. Keeping in mind that we contribute to each other. We are partners. We are not the only one to drive to success. We are just facilitators. Letting go is about doing, caring, without focusing on the result…. And the result will come.
How do you let go?
By definition, letting go means…not working on something specific, because…. you let go! So how do you practice the let go thing? You can let go by working on your self-esteem , your confidence, and trust others. Unleash the tensions, and you will be perceived as such by your coachee, consequently your coachee will feel freed of tensions as well. Being fully present, without agitation or any will to demonstrate any know how. Let the silence be. No pressure. Let the flow comes in, and welcome the other, offer peace, space, time, kindness, adjust to coachee’s pace, don’t rush. Then clarity will occur, deep listening at deeper levels, Aha moments will pop up. Letting go is critical for change in general. If you resist to new situations, you will spend so much energy resisting, instead of focusing on the present and adjusting to the future. Letting go is about acceptance: Accepting non perfect results, accepting differences, accepting…discoveries, new experiences.
What if you let go more?
Letting go is more challenging than controlling…. it requires lots of courage. Do you have vertigo or are you ready to let go?
“Close your eyes, clear your heart…and let go…then harvest”
This article is dedicated to Paul, my supervisor.
Leadership and Executive Coach PCC-ICF